Hilarious Jail Jokes That Might Get You Out of Trouble

Everyone loves a good joke, and if you’re in trouble with the law, then funny bail bond and county jail jokes could be your saving grace. Police officers and bail bondsmen often have to deal with some serious situations, but that doesn’t mean they can’t take a lighthearted approach when it comes to their work.

Here are some of the best jokes about jail and bail that will get you out of any sticky situation. Whether you need a laugh or just want to impress your local cop or bail bondsman, these jokes are sure to put a smile on your face!

Call 317-876-9600 For Criminal Bail Bonds in Indianapolis Indiana
Call 317-876-9600 For Criminal Bail Bonds in Indianapolis Indiana

Get Ready to Laugh With These Jail and Bail Bond Jokes!

Top Ten Bail Bondsmen Jokes

1. What did the bail bondsman say to his son when he wanted to become a lawyer? He said, “No way! You’ll end up on the other side of this business!”

2. How do you know when a jail is full? When there are no more bail bondsmen available outside.

3. Why did the criminal get upset with the bail bondsman? Because he charged him an arm and a leg for his bail!

4. What did the judge say when the bail bondsman failed to post bond in time? He said, “You missed your chance – no more free passes from this court!”

5. What does a bail bondsman have in common with a magician? They both know how to make people disappear!

6. What did the bail bondsman say when his client asked for a refund? ”No chance, you’re stuck with me!”

7. What does a bail bondsman and an accountant have in common? They both know how to count their money!

8. Why is it so hard to get out of jail if you don’t have any money? Because the only way out is through a bail bondsman, and they aren’t free!

9. Why do criminals always seem to hire the same bail bondsman? He’s got all the connections – he knows which judges are lenient on bond amounts!

10. How does a jailed suspect describe his bail bondsman? He says, “He’s like my very own “get out of jail” card!”

And a Few More Jokes Just for Fun…

Q: What did the judge say when a skunk was brought into court?
A: “Odor in the court!”

Q: What did the bail bondsman say to the criminal after he was released from jail?
A: “Don’t make me come back here again!”

Q: What did the picture maker say when asked why he was in jail?
A: “Because I was framed!”

Q: Why don’t criminals like going to jail?
A: Because it’s no joke!

Q: What did the criminal say when his bail bondsman asked for collateral?
A: “Do you take cash or credit?”

Q: What did the jailbird say to his friend when visiting him in prison?
A: “It’s not so bad here – at least the meals are better than hotel food!”

Q: What did the prisoner say when his release date was postponed?
A: “No bail – no tell!”

Q: What did the criminal say to the judge just before sentencing?
A: “Your Honor, this is a joke, right?”

Q: What did the paving contractor say to the bail bondsman when asked why he was in jail?
A: “Because I tried to break out of a rut!”

Q: What did the jailbird say when his release date was changed?
A: “That’s one less day I have to spend behind bars!”

We hope these jokes provided some much-needed comic relief! If you or someone you know is ever in need of a bail bondsman, make sure to contact us at 317-876-9600 for speedy and secure bail bond services in Indianapolis, Indiana. We offer prearranged bail bond service for arrest warrants and probation violations, too. From all of us here at Woods Bail Bonds, have a great day and stay safe!

4 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Date a Bail Bondsman

Indianapolis Bail Bonds 317-876-9600

Indianapolis Bail Bonds 317-876-9600

The line of work for a bail bondsman is a serious one, but they are certainly no stranger to humor! Many bail bondsmen’ friends and family like to make jokes around the dinner table about why they are not the most “eligible” bachelors and bachelorettes in the dating pool.

So today, we would like to share these funny takes on dating a bail bond agent, and perhaps enlighten all the single people about what you can expect from dating someone that works in the bail bonds industry.

Continue reading for the top five funniest reasons to never date a bail bondsman!

The Life of a Bail Bondsman

Bail bond agents often get a lot of questions about their line of work. After all, they are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and 365 days a years. This means they are running off to post bail for clients even on holidays. The life of a bail bond agent is certainly a crazy one, with odd hours, interesting clientele, and more visits to jail than a habitual convict. This leads us to our reasons to never date bail bond agents!

#5 Reason

Bail Bondsmen Require a Detailed Application, References, and Collateral Before a First Date! To guarantee your appearance, a bail bondsman will require you to fill out a detailed application, provide three references, and even some personal collateral.

#4 Reason

Bail Bondsmen Skip the “Getting to Know You” Part. Before the first date, a bail bondsman is sure to run a complete background check on you. So if you are on a date with a bail bondsman, then you must have passed!

#3 Reason

Bail Bondsmen Will Charge You 10% of the Total Dinner Tab. If you decide to bail out of the relationship, a bail bondsman will charge you 10% of the cumulative date night expenses!

#2 Reason

Bail Bondsmen Have Been to Jail Over 100 Times, and are CERTAIN to Go Back! Not only are they guaranteed to go back to jail, you can be sure it’s bound to happen at the most inconvenient times, like in the middle of your birthday or anniversary dinner!

And the #1 reason to never date a bail bondsman is…

Bail Bondsmen Will Track You Down if You Fail to Appear for Pre-Arranged Date Night Plans! Be prepared to be tracked down like a fugitive if you don’t show up for date night. A bail bondsman might send a bounty hunter after you!

Jokes Aside

All jokes aside, bail bondsmen are not actually hard to date at all! In fact, they are a wonderful choice for companionship, guidance, and support. They are driven, passionate professionals that are dedicated to helping people in need. This makes them a great friend, partner, and role model for everyone! But a little teasing never hurt anyone, right? So if you have any funny bail bond jokes to add, we would really love to hear them!

Woods Bail Bonds

Woods Bail Bonds Indiana

Indiana Bail Bonds 317-876-9600

Call Woods Bail Bonds at 317-876-9600 to get out of jail in Marion County, Indiana. Owner, James Woods, and his team, are licensed, bonded, and insured with more than 30 years of experience in the industry. Not only can we answer your questions about bail bonds, we can provide a safe and secure release from the Marion County Jail. Our bail bond services are also available throughout Indianapolis, as well as, Northern, Central, and Southern Indiana. We are the leading professionals to trust for fast and friendly bail bonds in Indiana. Call 317-876-9600
for Indianapolis bail bond services, today.